by Peter
These days it seems like everyone wants to lose weight. Whether it be for appearance issues or health reasons, it is becoming quite the trend. But we all know that it is not always easy to lose weight.
Weight loss motivation is one of the hardest types of motivation to acquire. Why is that? First of all we need to have food to survive. It is not something that we can just put away and never pick it up again. So healthy eating is one goal that we need to set for ourselves. This goal will give us a tool to weight loss motivation.
Another goal that we need to set is for exercise. You can't just cut down the food intake, you also need to exercise and raise your metabolism rate. One mistake that people make when trying to lose weight is that they deprive themselves of all the foods that they love. Wrong! You can have anything in moderation.
If you try to deprive yourself of the foods that you love, it will back fire on you and you will end up eating more than normal. Also, it will de-motivate you if you have the mindset that you can never have that favorite piece of chocolate cake again!
So setting goals is probably the first step in weight loss motivation. Set realistic goals for yourself. If you think that you can realistically stand to lose 15 pounds then write it down. If you think that you can start that goal by running 1 mile per day, then write it down. Maybe you can only walk 1/2 mile per day.
Whatever you think you can do realistically, will be your new goals. Just do not set them too high. Make sure that they are goals that are possible to meet.
It is a good idea to write the goals down and keep them where you can look at them daily. This will remind you of what is important to you and why you are wanting to achieve weight loss motivation.
Reward yourself when you lose a pound or two. Pat yourself on the back, buy a new sweater, or do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better (no food rewards, though!) A reward must be something that you desire. If it isn't, then it is not a reward and it will serve no purpose.
Out of all the reasons to get motivated, such as financial gains, workplace motivation, etc. Weight loss motivation seems to be the one most sought after and the most difficult to obtain. It can be done. It will eventually become a habit to do the morning workouts and replace the old habits in your life.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Why Personal Motivation is The Key To Success
by Peter
When it comes to success, a person needs to be able to achieve personal motivation. Personal motivation is what drives us internally and externally to succeed in what ever we want to succeed in.
Without personal motivation, we wouldn't be able to accomplish anything. Personal motivation can be motivation to do just about anything. It can be motivation to lose weight, or to complete a task at the workplace, or to do something that you have put on the back burner for a while. A person can also be motivated to stop doing things such as using drugs, drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes.
So how do we gain personal motivation? The first thing we need to do is set goals for ourselves. These goals have to be realistic goals and they have to be a possible gain.
We tend to set our goals too high and then fail. This is just a step backward in the personal motivation search. Goals are of utmost importance in gaining personal motivation. They give us the push we need to get the job done.
It is a good idea to write down your goals. This makes it easier to see them on a daily basis and be reminded of what you are reaching for.
Another great strategy is to write up a contract between you and yourself and state the goals in it. Then sign and date the contract. You might even put a deadline for the goals to be met. It is just another way of pushing ourselves into doing something we want.
We also need to look at the objectives. The objectives are going to be what it will take to get us to our goals. Be specific with your objectives. It is a good idea to have your objectives measure what and when the goals need to be done. For instance, an objective might be like this: I will lose 10 pounds in 1 months time.
After our goals have been set and we know exactly what our expectations of ourselves are, then it is time to go to the next step. The next phase to personal motivation is making a commitment to keep after these goals until they are met. Keep pushing on, and then maybe even raising our standards higher.
Never look back on past failures. This really does nothing for our self-esteem. It will only set you back to dwell on the mistakes you have made in the past. Now then, you can learn from your mistakes, just don't keep looking back at them.
Rewarding ourselves when we do meet our goals is very important in this process, as well. We need a pat on the back for hard work and effort. Personal motivation can be achieved if goals and objectives are set and a commitment is made to keep them.
When it comes to success, a person needs to be able to achieve personal motivation. Personal motivation is what drives us internally and externally to succeed in what ever we want to succeed in.
Without personal motivation, we wouldn't be able to accomplish anything. Personal motivation can be motivation to do just about anything. It can be motivation to lose weight, or to complete a task at the workplace, or to do something that you have put on the back burner for a while. A person can also be motivated to stop doing things such as using drugs, drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes.
So how do we gain personal motivation? The first thing we need to do is set goals for ourselves. These goals have to be realistic goals and they have to be a possible gain.
We tend to set our goals too high and then fail. This is just a step backward in the personal motivation search. Goals are of utmost importance in gaining personal motivation. They give us the push we need to get the job done.
It is a good idea to write down your goals. This makes it easier to see them on a daily basis and be reminded of what you are reaching for.
Another great strategy is to write up a contract between you and yourself and state the goals in it. Then sign and date the contract. You might even put a deadline for the goals to be met. It is just another way of pushing ourselves into doing something we want.
We also need to look at the objectives. The objectives are going to be what it will take to get us to our goals. Be specific with your objectives. It is a good idea to have your objectives measure what and when the goals need to be done. For instance, an objective might be like this: I will lose 10 pounds in 1 months time.
After our goals have been set and we know exactly what our expectations of ourselves are, then it is time to go to the next step. The next phase to personal motivation is making a commitment to keep after these goals until they are met. Keep pushing on, and then maybe even raising our standards higher.
Never look back on past failures. This really does nothing for our self-esteem. It will only set you back to dwell on the mistakes you have made in the past. Now then, you can learn from your mistakes, just don't keep looking back at them.
Rewarding ourselves when we do meet our goals is very important in this process, as well. We need a pat on the back for hard work and effort. Personal motivation can be achieved if goals and objectives are set and a commitment is made to keep them.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Motivation and Personality - Which Type Are You?
by Peter
The level of motivation that a person has depends a lot on the personality of that person. If a person has the personality of a quiet, shy type of person, their motivation will come from living within that personality.
They are more likely to get motivated in different ways to that of a person who has a loud and bold personality. If a person has a go-getter personality then their motivation will be strong and vivacious, with a nothing can stop them type attitude.
Personality has a big impact on how we are motivated in our lives. Motivation and personality are definitely connected.
There are three basic personalities that seem to be motivation for what we do and who we want to become.
1. The need for power
This personality has a strong desire or drive to make people act or behave in a way that they would not otherwise behave.
This type of motivation is usually found in a strong-willed person. They like to be in charge of situations. The motivation is more for power and prestige than doing a great job.
2. Need for achievement
This type of personality has a strong drive to excel. This person usually strives to succeed at everything they try.
They avoid really hard tasks as well as really easy tasks. They like 50/50 odds and are not gamblers. The motivation is to achieve it on their own with their own skills.
3. Need for affiliation
This type of personality has the need for strong interpersonal relationships with others. This person is usually a soft-spoken quiet individual.
This person strives for friendships. The motivation for this personality is being cooperative rather than being competitive. They seek mutual understanding.
There are also combinations of one or more of these types of personalities, as well. They determine what motivates a person to do the things that they want and need to do.
Whichever personality a person possesses, they need to start with goal setting to achieve motivation. The first step is setting goals that are realistic to your specific needs and wants.
Try not to set these goals too high, nor too low. Either one of these will cause undesirable results. The goals must be possible to attain or they are useless to us. This step is essential to motivation. You can't be motivated if you do not have goals.
Rewarding yourself for your hard work and effort is another essential part of learning motivation. There must be rewards for a job well done. It is what keeps us going.
Motivation and personality do go hand in hand. As you can see, different people and personalities are motivated by different drives. Successes are measured by different motivations and rewards.
The level of motivation that a person has depends a lot on the personality of that person. If a person has the personality of a quiet, shy type of person, their motivation will come from living within that personality.
They are more likely to get motivated in different ways to that of a person who has a loud and bold personality. If a person has a go-getter personality then their motivation will be strong and vivacious, with a nothing can stop them type attitude.
Personality has a big impact on how we are motivated in our lives. Motivation and personality are definitely connected.
There are three basic personalities that seem to be motivation for what we do and who we want to become.
1. The need for power
This personality has a strong desire or drive to make people act or behave in a way that they would not otherwise behave.
This type of motivation is usually found in a strong-willed person. They like to be in charge of situations. The motivation is more for power and prestige than doing a great job.
2. Need for achievement
This type of personality has a strong drive to excel. This person usually strives to succeed at everything they try.
They avoid really hard tasks as well as really easy tasks. They like 50/50 odds and are not gamblers. The motivation is to achieve it on their own with their own skills.
3. Need for affiliation
This type of personality has the need for strong interpersonal relationships with others. This person is usually a soft-spoken quiet individual.
This person strives for friendships. The motivation for this personality is being cooperative rather than being competitive. They seek mutual understanding.
There are also combinations of one or more of these types of personalities, as well. They determine what motivates a person to do the things that they want and need to do.
Whichever personality a person possesses, they need to start with goal setting to achieve motivation. The first step is setting goals that are realistic to your specific needs and wants.
Try not to set these goals too high, nor too low. Either one of these will cause undesirable results. The goals must be possible to attain or they are useless to us. This step is essential to motivation. You can't be motivated if you do not have goals.
Rewarding yourself for your hard work and effort is another essential part of learning motivation. There must be rewards for a job well done. It is what keeps us going.
Motivation and personality do go hand in hand. As you can see, different people and personalities are motivated by different drives. Successes are measured by different motivations and rewards.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
I Am Me And I’m OK
by Virginia Satir
I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it – I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts.
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know – but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me.
I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it – I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts.
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know – but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Do You Have A Dream?
Everyone had a dream at one time or another. Many people put them aside as they get older for fear of being thought silly or unpractical.
If you had enough money, confidence, ability and anything else you might need, what would you do?
Which people, plights, situations move you the most?
If you could help them, what would you do?
If you were made God for a week what would you change?
If you were offered superhuman abilities what would you choose?
These sound like fanciful thoughts, but it is these that can help you get in touch with Who You Are… rather than Who You Should Be.
The dream matters less than finding out what you stand for. This will help you find a direction to move in towards finding a purpose. With every minute spent dreaming you fill your mind with the kinds of hormones and chemicals that create thoughts of joy, motivation and optimism.
The longer you do this for, the more you train your brain to think in a more positive way. The more positive that you feel, the more possibilities you will see.
Sooner or later you’ll hit upon a cause or a path that excites you every time you think about it. Initially you may say to yourself that it’s impossible or unrealistic. Never mind. Keep dreaming, as it makes you feel good.
After a while you’ll get clearer about exactly what it is you want to do. Then the first step will come to you. It will seem doable. Maybe you’ll act, but get overwhelmed by the size of the whole project. That’s ok. It’s a sign that you need to move back into the dreaming stage.
It is from your dreams that you get hope. And hope is the fuel that motivates and sustains you through adversity. It is hope that gives you purpose, excitement, joy and motivation. Dreaming is a way to change your brain chemistry to give you the confidence and ability to move your ideas into reality.
If you had enough money, confidence, ability and anything else you might need, what would you do?
Which people, plights, situations move you the most?
If you could help them, what would you do?
If you were made God for a week what would you change?
If you were offered superhuman abilities what would you choose?
These sound like fanciful thoughts, but it is these that can help you get in touch with Who You Are… rather than Who You Should Be.
The dream matters less than finding out what you stand for. This will help you find a direction to move in towards finding a purpose. With every minute spent dreaming you fill your mind with the kinds of hormones and chemicals that create thoughts of joy, motivation and optimism.
The longer you do this for, the more you train your brain to think in a more positive way. The more positive that you feel, the more possibilities you will see.
Sooner or later you’ll hit upon a cause or a path that excites you every time you think about it. Initially you may say to yourself that it’s impossible or unrealistic. Never mind. Keep dreaming, as it makes you feel good.
After a while you’ll get clearer about exactly what it is you want to do. Then the first step will come to you. It will seem doable. Maybe you’ll act, but get overwhelmed by the size of the whole project. That’s ok. It’s a sign that you need to move back into the dreaming stage.
It is from your dreams that you get hope. And hope is the fuel that motivates and sustains you through adversity. It is hope that gives you purpose, excitement, joy and motivation. Dreaming is a way to change your brain chemistry to give you the confidence and ability to move your ideas into reality.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Getting Through the Sadness
by Karen Rowinsky
Many say the first year after the loss of a loved is the hardest but most people find that different seasons or dates bring up sadness and feelings of grief years after our loved one has died. There are things we can do to ease our pain during these seasons of sadness no matter when they occur.
I’ve never really been a summer person but since 1994, the dog days of summer have really become my season of sadness. My first husband died on August 19 of that year. Ever since, the weeks surrounding that date have been difficult for me.
Most people mark their year with anniversaries – the celebration of birthdays, holidays, and days significant to us for one reason or another. After a loss, those anniversaries can be quite painful. I, personally, have found the days and weeks leading up to each anniversary date to be harder than the day itself. I call this anticipatory grieving.
The dictionary defines grief as, "keen mental suffering, distress over affliction or loss, and sharp sadness." We often associate grieving with the death of a loved one but we can grieve any time we suffer a loss. We can grieve over the loss of a job, a relationship, or our health. We can grieve when we move from a home, have financial difficulties, or do not realize a dream. We can grieve alone, as a family or community.
While we share the experience of grieving with every other person on this planet, the way we grieve is unique to each of us. Some describe the act of grieving in different stages. Yet grieving is not a linear experience but a process that weaves through the fabric of our life. While the intensity of our grief can ebb and flow, there are no time boundaries to our grief. Even if our loss occurred years ago, we can experience grief at any time. Sometimes our grief surprises us as if it is saying, "Hey, I’m not done with you yet!"
I've had a love/hate relationship with my grief. Grief is good; it just hurts so badly. Because I had experienced many losses prior my husband's death, I was familiar with grieving and healthy ways to do it. In the days, weeks, and months after my husband's death I even welcomed those times of intense sadness and pain because in some way they made me feel closer to him. But, when my heart began aching, my natural inclination was to run away from the feelings rather than let them wash over me. I have to constantly remind myself to just "be" in my grief.
I have found the following strategies helpful during my seasons of sadness. I hope you will find them helpful in yours.
Embrace Your Grief
We all have built defense mechanisms to help us deal with pain. This is not the time to use them though. As a wave of grief begins to pass over you, let it flow. Acknowledge that you have good reason to feel this way and the more you let yourself experience grief, the less it will stick around. While the wave may last for minutes, hours, or even days it will eventually play itself out and you will feel peace again. My dad’s favorite expression was "this too shall pass." He used it throughout his life but especially during the pain at the end of it. Your grief too shall pass. Embrace it until it does.
Experience Your Uniqueness
Each of us experiences grief in our own way. Don't compare yourself to others. Don't let others tell you how to grieve. Our loved ones don’t like to see us suffer. In order to avoid this, they often encourage us, in not so subtle ways, to hide our feelings. Or they may be quite up front about telling us to get over it. Accept your own uniqueness. Grieve in the way that is right for you.
Be Kind to Yourself
During times of grieving we should be especially good to ourselves. That means we should take care of ourselves by getting enough sleep, eating well, drinking plenty of water, and doing some kind of physical exercise frequently to alleviate our stress. Don't push yourself to do things you don't want to do but be careful of the stress caused by avoiding doing those things. Being kind to yourself also means not anesthetizing yourself from your grief. Be careful not to use alcohol, drugs, or even food to avoid feeling your pain. If you feel overwhelmed, seek counsel from the leader of your faith community, your health care provider, or a therapist.
Express Yourself
The expression of grief can be in words, actions, or tears. Crying can be quite a relief yet many of us are afraid to cry during times of intense sadness because it feels as if we start we will never be able to stop. Don't worry, you will eventually stop but in the meantime you will reap the benefits of a good cry. If you are like me, and do your best crying in private, be sure to find the alone time to let the tears flow. You may also gain comfort in writing what you feel. If you feel awkward in doing this, try writing your feelings in the form of a letter to a trusted friend. You don’t necessarily have to mail the letter but the writing can be the cathartic experience you need.
Surround Yourself with Love
While you may be a very private person and prefer to experience your grief alone, this is not the time to isolate yourself. Reach out to friends and family. They may need you more than you need them. When you’re with other people you will have more opportunities to laugh (a wonderful grief reliever), gain perspective, and share your pain. Share rituals with others, too. You may want to commemorate the anniversaries of loss with a time to reminisce or even a celebration of hope.
We need to honor our losses by letting ourselves grieve them. Life has many seasons of sadness. Just like spring follows winter, our sorrow is eventually followed by joy. We need both to truly make our life work.
Many say the first year after the loss of a loved is the hardest but most people find that different seasons or dates bring up sadness and feelings of grief years after our loved one has died. There are things we can do to ease our pain during these seasons of sadness no matter when they occur.
I’ve never really been a summer person but since 1994, the dog days of summer have really become my season of sadness. My first husband died on August 19 of that year. Ever since, the weeks surrounding that date have been difficult for me.
Most people mark their year with anniversaries – the celebration of birthdays, holidays, and days significant to us for one reason or another. After a loss, those anniversaries can be quite painful. I, personally, have found the days and weeks leading up to each anniversary date to be harder than the day itself. I call this anticipatory grieving.
The dictionary defines grief as, "keen mental suffering, distress over affliction or loss, and sharp sadness." We often associate grieving with the death of a loved one but we can grieve any time we suffer a loss. We can grieve over the loss of a job, a relationship, or our health. We can grieve when we move from a home, have financial difficulties, or do not realize a dream. We can grieve alone, as a family or community.
While we share the experience of grieving with every other person on this planet, the way we grieve is unique to each of us. Some describe the act of grieving in different stages. Yet grieving is not a linear experience but a process that weaves through the fabric of our life. While the intensity of our grief can ebb and flow, there are no time boundaries to our grief. Even if our loss occurred years ago, we can experience grief at any time. Sometimes our grief surprises us as if it is saying, "Hey, I’m not done with you yet!"
I've had a love/hate relationship with my grief. Grief is good; it just hurts so badly. Because I had experienced many losses prior my husband's death, I was familiar with grieving and healthy ways to do it. In the days, weeks, and months after my husband's death I even welcomed those times of intense sadness and pain because in some way they made me feel closer to him. But, when my heart began aching, my natural inclination was to run away from the feelings rather than let them wash over me. I have to constantly remind myself to just "be" in my grief.
I have found the following strategies helpful during my seasons of sadness. I hope you will find them helpful in yours.
Embrace Your Grief
We all have built defense mechanisms to help us deal with pain. This is not the time to use them though. As a wave of grief begins to pass over you, let it flow. Acknowledge that you have good reason to feel this way and the more you let yourself experience grief, the less it will stick around. While the wave may last for minutes, hours, or even days it will eventually play itself out and you will feel peace again. My dad’s favorite expression was "this too shall pass." He used it throughout his life but especially during the pain at the end of it. Your grief too shall pass. Embrace it until it does.
Experience Your Uniqueness
Each of us experiences grief in our own way. Don't compare yourself to others. Don't let others tell you how to grieve. Our loved ones don’t like to see us suffer. In order to avoid this, they often encourage us, in not so subtle ways, to hide our feelings. Or they may be quite up front about telling us to get over it. Accept your own uniqueness. Grieve in the way that is right for you.
Be Kind to Yourself
During times of grieving we should be especially good to ourselves. That means we should take care of ourselves by getting enough sleep, eating well, drinking plenty of water, and doing some kind of physical exercise frequently to alleviate our stress. Don't push yourself to do things you don't want to do but be careful of the stress caused by avoiding doing those things. Being kind to yourself also means not anesthetizing yourself from your grief. Be careful not to use alcohol, drugs, or even food to avoid feeling your pain. If you feel overwhelmed, seek counsel from the leader of your faith community, your health care provider, or a therapist.
Express Yourself
The expression of grief can be in words, actions, or tears. Crying can be quite a relief yet many of us are afraid to cry during times of intense sadness because it feels as if we start we will never be able to stop. Don't worry, you will eventually stop but in the meantime you will reap the benefits of a good cry. If you are like me, and do your best crying in private, be sure to find the alone time to let the tears flow. You may also gain comfort in writing what you feel. If you feel awkward in doing this, try writing your feelings in the form of a letter to a trusted friend. You don’t necessarily have to mail the letter but the writing can be the cathartic experience you need.
Surround Yourself with Love
While you may be a very private person and prefer to experience your grief alone, this is not the time to isolate yourself. Reach out to friends and family. They may need you more than you need them. When you’re with other people you will have more opportunities to laugh (a wonderful grief reliever), gain perspective, and share your pain. Share rituals with others, too. You may want to commemorate the anniversaries of loss with a time to reminisce or even a celebration of hope.
We need to honor our losses by letting ourselves grieve them. Life has many seasons of sadness. Just like spring follows winter, our sorrow is eventually followed by joy. We need both to truly make our life work.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Straight From The Horse's Mouth
by Karen Schachter
Who knew how much a horse could teach a person? As a long-time dog owner and animal lover, I was always aware of the powerful healing potential animals can have. I always knew instinctively - and now I know it to be true based on my knowledge of the brain - that mammals have an ability to feel, connect with and care for others.
What I didn't realize was how much a horse could teach me about myself - and in such a short time!
After spending half a day today at Riding Far Farm with my friend and colleague, Paul Haefner and his partner, Elizabeth Siegert, I am awed by the incredible capacity a horse has to reflect back to me my own "stuff" - fears, limiting beliefs, ways of relating to others, and strengths. Horses are incredibly intuitive and therefore provide a non-judgmental mirror; and in that mirror, I was able to see patterns (some effective and some not so effective) that I use in my life.
In the first "exercise" (all of the exercises are done on the ground; no riding involved), we were instructed to introduce ourselves to each of the three horses in the ring. The first one was easy - I stretched my hand forward, used my high-pitched "it's okay sweetie" voice and let the horse come to me. We bonded. The second horse was pretty much the same thing. (Paul wondered if this is how I usually get people to respond to me - sweetly rather than more assertively...hmmm, good question).
But the third - ah, not so easy. I saw that big horse with one missing eye who showed no interest whatsoever in me, who kept eating his grass when I used my tried-and-true techniques, and I was stuck. I felt the fear ("he's dangerous") rise up in me and after a minute or two of "trying," I backed off.
In the second exercise, we were asked to work as a team to put a harness around one of the horses. As the "leader" of my team, I, curiously, chose the "dangerous" horse. And each time we approached, he walked away, over to another patch of grass to continue his lunch. Again and again and again. I wanted to give up. (Same thing as earlier - who wants to be rejected over and over??!). I was "sure" that this horse would NEVER allow us to harness him. And, I feared, if we kept trying, he would certainly attack us.
Luckily, I recognized this fear as irrational. I recognized a pattern in myself of wanting to "give up" when the going gets too tough; when I am faced with something I decide is "too scary"; or when I'm afraid I'll fail (or be rejected somehow). Having that awareness allowed me to say to my team, "let's approach him with confidence. No more beating around the bush; no more giving him the message that we're ambivalent and unsure of ourselves. Let's let him know we mean business here!"
And guess what? On that turn, the horse responded. He let us put the harness on him and he even stood there for a while with us once it was on.
A huge lesson for me: My reaction to this horse represented some of my own reactions in life. When faced with opportunities or goals, it's so important that I get clear about what I want and act with intention and purpose. When my thoughts and actions are in alignment, I am much more likely to achieve my goals and move toward my dreams.
So often, many of us go about life not acting in "alignment." We may say we "really" want something (to lose weight, have a more fulfilling career, or spend more quality time with our kids), yet we don't act with intention and with purpose. We don't commit to it and we don't go for it full-on. We go for it in a wishy-washy, maybe 'this-will-happen-if-I'm-lucky sort of way. Our actions don't reflect what we say we want. Our minds - with our fears, our ambivalence or our mental blocks - "trick" us into thinking that we can't do it, or stop us from going for it for some reason.
I'm so grateful to this beautiful, one-eyed horse for teaching me - not just in my cognitive awareness but with a "body" experience - such an important lesson that will continue to instruct me as I move forward toward my hopes and dreams.
Who knew how much a horse could teach a person? As a long-time dog owner and animal lover, I was always aware of the powerful healing potential animals can have. I always knew instinctively - and now I know it to be true based on my knowledge of the brain - that mammals have an ability to feel, connect with and care for others.
What I didn't realize was how much a horse could teach me about myself - and in such a short time!
After spending half a day today at Riding Far Farm with my friend and colleague, Paul Haefner and his partner, Elizabeth Siegert, I am awed by the incredible capacity a horse has to reflect back to me my own "stuff" - fears, limiting beliefs, ways of relating to others, and strengths. Horses are incredibly intuitive and therefore provide a non-judgmental mirror; and in that mirror, I was able to see patterns (some effective and some not so effective) that I use in my life.
In the first "exercise" (all of the exercises are done on the ground; no riding involved), we were instructed to introduce ourselves to each of the three horses in the ring. The first one was easy - I stretched my hand forward, used my high-pitched "it's okay sweetie" voice and let the horse come to me. We bonded. The second horse was pretty much the same thing. (Paul wondered if this is how I usually get people to respond to me - sweetly rather than more assertively...hmmm, good question).
But the third - ah, not so easy. I saw that big horse with one missing eye who showed no interest whatsoever in me, who kept eating his grass when I used my tried-and-true techniques, and I was stuck. I felt the fear ("he's dangerous") rise up in me and after a minute or two of "trying," I backed off.
In the second exercise, we were asked to work as a team to put a harness around one of the horses. As the "leader" of my team, I, curiously, chose the "dangerous" horse. And each time we approached, he walked away, over to another patch of grass to continue his lunch. Again and again and again. I wanted to give up. (Same thing as earlier - who wants to be rejected over and over??!). I was "sure" that this horse would NEVER allow us to harness him. And, I feared, if we kept trying, he would certainly attack us.
Luckily, I recognized this fear as irrational. I recognized a pattern in myself of wanting to "give up" when the going gets too tough; when I am faced with something I decide is "too scary"; or when I'm afraid I'll fail (or be rejected somehow). Having that awareness allowed me to say to my team, "let's approach him with confidence. No more beating around the bush; no more giving him the message that we're ambivalent and unsure of ourselves. Let's let him know we mean business here!"
And guess what? On that turn, the horse responded. He let us put the harness on him and he even stood there for a while with us once it was on.
A huge lesson for me: My reaction to this horse represented some of my own reactions in life. When faced with opportunities or goals, it's so important that I get clear about what I want and act with intention and purpose. When my thoughts and actions are in alignment, I am much more likely to achieve my goals and move toward my dreams.
So often, many of us go about life not acting in "alignment." We may say we "really" want something (to lose weight, have a more fulfilling career, or spend more quality time with our kids), yet we don't act with intention and with purpose. We don't commit to it and we don't go for it full-on. We go for it in a wishy-washy, maybe 'this-will-happen-if-I'm-lucky sort of way. Our actions don't reflect what we say we want. Our minds - with our fears, our ambivalence or our mental blocks - "trick" us into thinking that we can't do it, or stop us from going for it for some reason.
I'm so grateful to this beautiful, one-eyed horse for teaching me - not just in my cognitive awareness but with a "body" experience - such an important lesson that will continue to instruct me as I move forward toward my hopes and dreams.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Integrating and Putting It All Together
by Lloyd Irvin
Across 17 chapters, mental preparation concepts and techniques have been discussed in detail in this book. We now look at how to bring it all together in an easy step-by-step approach for a grappler or combat athlete to start applying these methods on a regular basis. Some key points from earlier chapters will be highlighted here to emphasize their importance in a comprehensive mental preparation program. The steps outlined here take into account all aspects of mental preparation discussed in this book. It gives you a complete and integrated approach to mental preparation. Grapplers and combat athletes who believe that they are already good at some aspects of mental preparation can choose the ones in which they believe they need help.
Twenty Steps to an Integrated Mental Preparation Program
STEP 1: At the very top the heap, the very first thing you should do is goal setting.
Several aspects of your mental framework are dependent on the goals that you start out with in your grappling or combat athletics career. Your goals will
• decide your motivation levels
• define you career track
• define your ambition
• indicate your level of commitment to the sport
Goals have to be set over an extended length of time (i.e., long-, medium-, and short-term goals), to give you the right perspective on where you are headed. You have to also periodically set performance-based goals based on your assessment of the skill areas in which you are deficient. Let's take a look at an abridged version of the key issues in achieving your goals.
Achieving your goals:
Your long-term goals (5-10+ years) are your vision for yourself and path that you hope your grappling or combat athletics career will take in the coming years. Your preparation has to start now, both mentally and physically if you want to participate in a national title or world title in a few years.
Getting mentally ready for major tournaments is a composite of your preparation and experiences over several years. Learning and skill development go through a gradual progression in eventually preparing you for the cherished big fights.
Medium-term goals (1-5 years) require that you constantly assess what is happening within the grappling and combat athletics fraternities, look for opportunities, evaluate the competition in terms wins and losses, and so on.
Short-term goals (6 months), given their immediacy, will require planning the exact dates when you should practice, train, and get yourself physically and mentally ready. The fitness regimen that you will follow, your diet program, your mental preparation, and the coaching sessions that you plan to attend all fall into place when you do the planning to achieve your short-term goals.
Performance-based goal setting:
This requires that you and your coach make an objective identification of weak areas or deficiencies in your and go about finding ways to improve your skills in those areas. These deficiencies could be in technique or they could even be in mental skills. You basically have to identify those aspects of your preparation that need enhancement to deliver peak performance. Since this type of goal setting is performance related, players feel motivated enough to see it through and overcome the weak, in their performance. What emerges is a goal-directed, mental skills training program, whereby the goals that have been set could be measured over time.
STEP 2: Commit yourself to consistency in mental skills preparation and follow the techniques on a regular basis. Mental skills work best if they are practiced and applied regularly. Develop a daily regimen. It can be as low as half an hour per day, but the positive results will be evident within a few weeks.
STEP 3: If you nurse a bloated ego, tone it down much before the match begins. A bloated diminishes the urge and ability to learn during practice sessions. You need an ego in order to develop the right competitive frame of mind, but too much of an ego can eventually pull you down. Use tips provided in Chapter 7 to deal with a big ego.
STEP 4: Sizing up your opponent is the next thing you should do in your mental preparation.
a) Analyze the history of the opponent's performance in terms of wins or losses and skills weak points displayed in previous matches.
b) Try to recall and bring to the fore any tactics that your opponent uses, so that you can build a strategy to neutralize them.
STEP 5: Apply the four-point approach to strategizing.
• Play to your plus points
• Be aware of shortcomings and vulnerabilities in your opponent
• Be aware of your own vulnerabilities
• Be flexible and develop alternative strategies
Build-in "If statements" to make your strategy as flexible as possible. Also, develop specific tactics to make your strategy workable.
STEP 6: Use simple methods like writing, audio-recordings, or computers to store your plan and strategy and commit it to your memory. Writing things down is one of the easiest ways to commit something to memory. Your recall of the information will significantly go up. It is also readily available to you for reference whenever you need to refresh your memory.
STEP 7: Use simulation to recreate the challenges and stresses in a real match.
STEP 8: Learn to visualize in order to mentally extend your practice time and to rehearse your moves in your mind on a regular basis.
Steps 9-14 have to be learned and applied almost simultaneously for the best effect. These steps address the many issues related to the critical mental process of achieving "Focus."
One of the most critical aspects of mental preparation is in applying all the mental skills required to achieve the multidimensional quality of focus.
Multidimensional facets of focus:
• If you are motivated, it brings focus to your game.
• If you have a healthy ego rather than a bloated ego, it brings focus to your game.
• If you concentrate on the task on hand, it brings focus to your game.
• If you are alert and attentive, it brings focus to your game.
• If you have a winning attitude, it brings focus to your game.
• If you have ambition and killer instinct, it brings focus to your game.
• If you have passion for the game, it brings focus to your game.
• If you shed mental baggage and negativity, it brings focus to your game.
• If you are consistent with your training, it brings focus to your game.
• If you develop your memory retrieval skills, it brings focus to your game.
STEP 9: Identify your motivators. Motivation is the fulcrum on which your sports career hinges.
If demotivated, use the tips provided in Chapter 7 to tide you over the depressed feeling. For instance, never view a single failure in isolation-you have to take a collective approach to your triumphs and failures. Your self-assessment has to straddle a set of tournaments rather than any one tournament where you could not achieve a win.
STEP 10: You can learn the "Distraction Breakers" and/or "Concentration Builders" to improve your involvement in your matches. When you concentrate, you will be able to use your mind at optimal levels to call on all aspects of your preparation and prepared at all times. Each of these can bring a high level of focus into your learning process and your performance in a match.
STEP 11: Analyze your attitude to the game and toward competition. Attitude is all about developing the right mindset and outlook to play in a competitive game. Attitude actually comprises three distinct traits:
a) Professional approach to competition: The "Assertive" approach is without a doubt the most professional approach to competition, and it is the best way to develop a winning attitude.
b) Determination and grit
c) Passion for the game
STEP 12: Override negativity by getting rid of mental baggage such as injury trauma, game failure, or problems in your personal life. Regain control over your thought processes and move ahead.
STEP 13: Make good use of practice sessions to develop both technique and mental skills.
• Prior to starting your practice, spend a few minutes thinking about what you would like to do, learn, and improve. Clearly outline issues that you want to deal with, such as styles, moves, concentration, intensity, alertness and so on.
• Display proactiveness and drive during training and treat it like a real game.
• Exercise control over your thought processes during training in much the same way that you will have to do in a match.
• After the practice session, spend a few minutes reflecting on what you learned and what you can follow up on in your spare time.
Maintain a performance monitor diary or audio recording.
STEP 14: Improve memory retrieval to efficiently apply the mental skills techniques.
Learn to use the "Image Cue Technique" and the "Structured Memory Technique:” They will help you with quick retrieval of your game plan, your styles, and your moves, during a match.
Steps 15 and 16 have to be followed a lot more diligently in the last few days before a match begins because that's when confidence wanes and stress sets in.
STEP 15: Use confidence-building techniques like positive self-talk, and "weeding-out," to build confidence in yourself. Learn to believe in your abilities.
Confidence + Belief in Self = Toughness
STEP 16: Relax: Try out the many relaxation techniques outlined in the book.
STEP 17: Deal with emotions-anger, fear-using the techniques provided.
STEP 18: Continue to use mental preparation in the few minutes before the game. These include breathing exercises, visualization and self-talk. The breathing exercises will help you stay calm visualization will bring top-of-mind the key styles and techniques that you want to use, and self-talk will maintain your confidence at high levels.
STEP 19: During the match, concentrate on the game as it unfolds, play your game as you planned it, be proactive and aggressive, pay attention and gauge your opponent's strategy, and be wary and alert at all times. You should also refocus as often as necessary so that you don't lose track of your game plan. Use breathing techniques if necessary to assist you in refocusing.
STEP 20: Post match review - Be brutally honest with yourself when you evaluate your performance. It will help pinpoint any weaknesses in your technique or mental skills. You can then run these weak areas more often in your preparation for the next match.
Across 17 chapters, mental preparation concepts and techniques have been discussed in detail in this book. We now look at how to bring it all together in an easy step-by-step approach for a grappler or combat athlete to start applying these methods on a regular basis. Some key points from earlier chapters will be highlighted here to emphasize their importance in a comprehensive mental preparation program. The steps outlined here take into account all aspects of mental preparation discussed in this book. It gives you a complete and integrated approach to mental preparation. Grapplers and combat athletes who believe that they are already good at some aspects of mental preparation can choose the ones in which they believe they need help.
Twenty Steps to an Integrated Mental Preparation Program
STEP 1: At the very top the heap, the very first thing you should do is goal setting.
Several aspects of your mental framework are dependent on the goals that you start out with in your grappling or combat athletics career. Your goals will
• decide your motivation levels
• define you career track
• define your ambition
• indicate your level of commitment to the sport
Goals have to be set over an extended length of time (i.e., long-, medium-, and short-term goals), to give you the right perspective on where you are headed. You have to also periodically set performance-based goals based on your assessment of the skill areas in which you are deficient. Let's take a look at an abridged version of the key issues in achieving your goals.
Achieving your goals:
Your long-term goals (5-10+ years) are your vision for yourself and path that you hope your grappling or combat athletics career will take in the coming years. Your preparation has to start now, both mentally and physically if you want to participate in a national title or world title in a few years.
Getting mentally ready for major tournaments is a composite of your preparation and experiences over several years. Learning and skill development go through a gradual progression in eventually preparing you for the cherished big fights.
Medium-term goals (1-5 years) require that you constantly assess what is happening within the grappling and combat athletics fraternities, look for opportunities, evaluate the competition in terms wins and losses, and so on.
Short-term goals (6 months), given their immediacy, will require planning the exact dates when you should practice, train, and get yourself physically and mentally ready. The fitness regimen that you will follow, your diet program, your mental preparation, and the coaching sessions that you plan to attend all fall into place when you do the planning to achieve your short-term goals.
Performance-based goal setting:
This requires that you and your coach make an objective identification of weak areas or deficiencies in your and go about finding ways to improve your skills in those areas. These deficiencies could be in technique or they could even be in mental skills. You basically have to identify those aspects of your preparation that need enhancement to deliver peak performance. Since this type of goal setting is performance related, players feel motivated enough to see it through and overcome the weak, in their performance. What emerges is a goal-directed, mental skills training program, whereby the goals that have been set could be measured over time.
STEP 2: Commit yourself to consistency in mental skills preparation and follow the techniques on a regular basis. Mental skills work best if they are practiced and applied regularly. Develop a daily regimen. It can be as low as half an hour per day, but the positive results will be evident within a few weeks.
STEP 3: If you nurse a bloated ego, tone it down much before the match begins. A bloated diminishes the urge and ability to learn during practice sessions. You need an ego in order to develop the right competitive frame of mind, but too much of an ego can eventually pull you down. Use tips provided in Chapter 7 to deal with a big ego.
STEP 4: Sizing up your opponent is the next thing you should do in your mental preparation.
a) Analyze the history of the opponent's performance in terms of wins or losses and skills weak points displayed in previous matches.
b) Try to recall and bring to the fore any tactics that your opponent uses, so that you can build a strategy to neutralize them.
STEP 5: Apply the four-point approach to strategizing.
• Play to your plus points
• Be aware of shortcomings and vulnerabilities in your opponent
• Be aware of your own vulnerabilities
• Be flexible and develop alternative strategies
Build-in "If statements" to make your strategy as flexible as possible. Also, develop specific tactics to make your strategy workable.
STEP 6: Use simple methods like writing, audio-recordings, or computers to store your plan and strategy and commit it to your memory. Writing things down is one of the easiest ways to commit something to memory. Your recall of the information will significantly go up. It is also readily available to you for reference whenever you need to refresh your memory.
STEP 7: Use simulation to recreate the challenges and stresses in a real match.
STEP 8: Learn to visualize in order to mentally extend your practice time and to rehearse your moves in your mind on a regular basis.
Steps 9-14 have to be learned and applied almost simultaneously for the best effect. These steps address the many issues related to the critical mental process of achieving "Focus."
One of the most critical aspects of mental preparation is in applying all the mental skills required to achieve the multidimensional quality of focus.
Multidimensional facets of focus:
• If you are motivated, it brings focus to your game.
• If you have a healthy ego rather than a bloated ego, it brings focus to your game.
• If you concentrate on the task on hand, it brings focus to your game.
• If you are alert and attentive, it brings focus to your game.
• If you have a winning attitude, it brings focus to your game.
• If you have ambition and killer instinct, it brings focus to your game.
• If you have passion for the game, it brings focus to your game.
• If you shed mental baggage and negativity, it brings focus to your game.
• If you are consistent with your training, it brings focus to your game.
• If you develop your memory retrieval skills, it brings focus to your game.
STEP 9: Identify your motivators. Motivation is the fulcrum on which your sports career hinges.
If demotivated, use the tips provided in Chapter 7 to tide you over the depressed feeling. For instance, never view a single failure in isolation-you have to take a collective approach to your triumphs and failures. Your self-assessment has to straddle a set of tournaments rather than any one tournament where you could not achieve a win.
STEP 10: You can learn the "Distraction Breakers" and/or "Concentration Builders" to improve your involvement in your matches. When you concentrate, you will be able to use your mind at optimal levels to call on all aspects of your preparation and prepared at all times. Each of these can bring a high level of focus into your learning process and your performance in a match.
STEP 11: Analyze your attitude to the game and toward competition. Attitude is all about developing the right mindset and outlook to play in a competitive game. Attitude actually comprises three distinct traits:
a) Professional approach to competition: The "Assertive" approach is without a doubt the most professional approach to competition, and it is the best way to develop a winning attitude.
b) Determination and grit
c) Passion for the game
STEP 12: Override negativity by getting rid of mental baggage such as injury trauma, game failure, or problems in your personal life. Regain control over your thought processes and move ahead.
STEP 13: Make good use of practice sessions to develop both technique and mental skills.
• Prior to starting your practice, spend a few minutes thinking about what you would like to do, learn, and improve. Clearly outline issues that you want to deal with, such as styles, moves, concentration, intensity, alertness and so on.
• Display proactiveness and drive during training and treat it like a real game.
• Exercise control over your thought processes during training in much the same way that you will have to do in a match.
• After the practice session, spend a few minutes reflecting on what you learned and what you can follow up on in your spare time.
Maintain a performance monitor diary or audio recording.
STEP 14: Improve memory retrieval to efficiently apply the mental skills techniques.
Learn to use the "Image Cue Technique" and the "Structured Memory Technique:” They will help you with quick retrieval of your game plan, your styles, and your moves, during a match.
Steps 15 and 16 have to be followed a lot more diligently in the last few days before a match begins because that's when confidence wanes and stress sets in.
STEP 15: Use confidence-building techniques like positive self-talk, and "weeding-out," to build confidence in yourself. Learn to believe in your abilities.
Confidence + Belief in Self = Toughness
STEP 16: Relax: Try out the many relaxation techniques outlined in the book.
STEP 17: Deal with emotions-anger, fear-using the techniques provided.
STEP 18: Continue to use mental preparation in the few minutes before the game. These include breathing exercises, visualization and self-talk. The breathing exercises will help you stay calm visualization will bring top-of-mind the key styles and techniques that you want to use, and self-talk will maintain your confidence at high levels.
STEP 19: During the match, concentrate on the game as it unfolds, play your game as you planned it, be proactive and aggressive, pay attention and gauge your opponent's strategy, and be wary and alert at all times. You should also refocus as often as necessary so that you don't lose track of your game plan. Use breathing techniques if necessary to assist you in refocusing.
STEP 20: Post match review - Be brutally honest with yourself when you evaluate your performance. It will help pinpoint any weaknesses in your technique or mental skills. You can then run these weak areas more often in your preparation for the next match.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
What Normal People Want
by Willie Horton
I know that people are constantly striving to get more out of life. I know that many people wish for, hope for, want for more success, more happiness, more wealth. But wishing, hoping and wanting something is simply a useless mental activity - a waste of energy - because the only thing that will get you what you want is beyond wishing, hoping and wanting - it's believing. More of that later! For now, if you really look around and observe the behaviour of so-called normal people, you will discover what normal people really want - they want you to be normal too.
There is nothing more threatening to the normal state of mind than someone who's different - in particular, someone who is abnormally happy and successful. It's not so much that normal people are jealous of abnormal success - they actually want to take the abnormally successful person down.
One of the biggest issues that my clients have to face following my two-day personal development workshop is that, even though they have learned to become abnormal, even though they have learned (from a vast array of research stretching back over seventy years) that so-called normal people are actually totally and completely mad, when they venture back out into the ordinary, everyday so-called real world, almost everyone the encounter will be normal - will be insane.
A brief aside - because stating that normal people are insane requires an explanation! Here are some quick facts. About 96% of us are normal - we behave according to and conform to a variety of behavioural and social norms. Normal people control about 1% of their mind - in other words, they are only capable of paying 1% attention to what is going on in the present moment. Normal people's reactions and behaviours are automatically created by their subconscious minds which were programmed through snapshot learning during their formative years. In other words, the subconscious mind controls the normal person - not the other way around. If you're not in control of your own mind, surely that's a definition of madness!
There's more - societal norms tell us that we must work hard to be a success, that there are many outstanding things in life that only outstanding people can achieve - not normal people. Research proves that normal people only see what they expect to see, only perceive what they expect to perceive. In other words, normal people wander through life with their eyes closed, their senses dimmed, their life confined to the box created for them by their key influences during their childhood years and by a society that needs normal people to conform - whether that's a society driven by organised religion, the nation state or global corporate interests is a debate for some other day).
Back to my point - normal people want you to be normal. A client emailed me a couple of days ago saying that he had no problem opening, clearing and focusing his mind each morning - in preparation for the opportunities that every day holds for all of us. But, then, he'd get into work and be assaulted by normal people. People wanting to gossip (one of the greatest draws on our precious mental energy), people looking for a fight ("I deserve promotion", "Someone's getting involved where they shouldn't be", etc.) - and then he arrives home and is confronted by his teenage children - and, having three teenagers myself, it can often be difficult to remain calm, focused and effective!! All these everyday scenarios drag the calmest of minds into the dirt so that we end up reacting automatically all over again - and when did reacting make anything better!?!
You need to stop being normal - and, if you've started on the path towards being abnormal, you need to protect yourself against all those normal people who, unwittingly granted, was to drag you into their little dramas - want more of your attention, want you to make them feel important or better.
Why take the path that leads towards abnormality? Well, for starters, given my albeit very brief description of the normal mental state, do you really want to be normal? But, more to the point, you need to realise certain truths borne out by all the research that I've already mentioned. Anyone - and that includes you - can achieve the extra-ordinary and the exceptional. Anyone - and that, again, includes you, can achieve effortless happiness and success. You do not need to work hard to be a success. You need commitment, vision and belief - if you've got those, no work is difficult, no effort a strain.
The commitment you need is to your own state of mind. You need to cultivate and develop a clear, present and focused state of mind - a state of mind that is completely at odds with the normal cluttered, distracted mindlessness of normality. You need to commit to developing your ability to pay attention - not to your goals and dreams, but to the only time and place we have - the here and now. That means you pay more than 1% attention - that means you're already exceptional.
You need to believe. Believing is not wishing, hoping or wanting. Believing is seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling and tasting the success you want, as if you already have it. Those five senses that you rarely pay attention to are the very tools by which you can enable yourself believe and, more importantly, the only tools you have at your disposal to pay attention to the here and now - to be present, to be "all there", rather than "all over the place".
I know that people are constantly striving to get more out of life. I know that many people wish for, hope for, want for more success, more happiness, more wealth. But wishing, hoping and wanting something is simply a useless mental activity - a waste of energy - because the only thing that will get you what you want is beyond wishing, hoping and wanting - it's believing. More of that later! For now, if you really look around and observe the behaviour of so-called normal people, you will discover what normal people really want - they want you to be normal too.
There is nothing more threatening to the normal state of mind than someone who's different - in particular, someone who is abnormally happy and successful. It's not so much that normal people are jealous of abnormal success - they actually want to take the abnormally successful person down.
One of the biggest issues that my clients have to face following my two-day personal development workshop is that, even though they have learned to become abnormal, even though they have learned (from a vast array of research stretching back over seventy years) that so-called normal people are actually totally and completely mad, when they venture back out into the ordinary, everyday so-called real world, almost everyone the encounter will be normal - will be insane.
A brief aside - because stating that normal people are insane requires an explanation! Here are some quick facts. About 96% of us are normal - we behave according to and conform to a variety of behavioural and social norms. Normal people control about 1% of their mind - in other words, they are only capable of paying 1% attention to what is going on in the present moment. Normal people's reactions and behaviours are automatically created by their subconscious minds which were programmed through snapshot learning during their formative years. In other words, the subconscious mind controls the normal person - not the other way around. If you're not in control of your own mind, surely that's a definition of madness!
There's more - societal norms tell us that we must work hard to be a success, that there are many outstanding things in life that only outstanding people can achieve - not normal people. Research proves that normal people only see what they expect to see, only perceive what they expect to perceive. In other words, normal people wander through life with their eyes closed, their senses dimmed, their life confined to the box created for them by their key influences during their childhood years and by a society that needs normal people to conform - whether that's a society driven by organised religion, the nation state or global corporate interests is a debate for some other day).
Back to my point - normal people want you to be normal. A client emailed me a couple of days ago saying that he had no problem opening, clearing and focusing his mind each morning - in preparation for the opportunities that every day holds for all of us. But, then, he'd get into work and be assaulted by normal people. People wanting to gossip (one of the greatest draws on our precious mental energy), people looking for a fight ("I deserve promotion", "Someone's getting involved where they shouldn't be", etc.) - and then he arrives home and is confronted by his teenage children - and, having three teenagers myself, it can often be difficult to remain calm, focused and effective!! All these everyday scenarios drag the calmest of minds into the dirt so that we end up reacting automatically all over again - and when did reacting make anything better!?!
You need to stop being normal - and, if you've started on the path towards being abnormal, you need to protect yourself against all those normal people who, unwittingly granted, was to drag you into their little dramas - want more of your attention, want you to make them feel important or better.
Why take the path that leads towards abnormality? Well, for starters, given my albeit very brief description of the normal mental state, do you really want to be normal? But, more to the point, you need to realise certain truths borne out by all the research that I've already mentioned. Anyone - and that includes you - can achieve the extra-ordinary and the exceptional. Anyone - and that, again, includes you, can achieve effortless happiness and success. You do not need to work hard to be a success. You need commitment, vision and belief - if you've got those, no work is difficult, no effort a strain.
The commitment you need is to your own state of mind. You need to cultivate and develop a clear, present and focused state of mind - a state of mind that is completely at odds with the normal cluttered, distracted mindlessness of normality. You need to commit to developing your ability to pay attention - not to your goals and dreams, but to the only time and place we have - the here and now. That means you pay more than 1% attention - that means you're already exceptional.
You need to believe. Believing is not wishing, hoping or wanting. Believing is seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling and tasting the success you want, as if you already have it. Those five senses that you rarely pay attention to are the very tools by which you can enable yourself believe and, more importantly, the only tools you have at your disposal to pay attention to the here and now - to be present, to be "all there", rather than "all over the place".
Friday, February 19, 2010
"Thinking First, Doing Later" - (It's All About The Thinking)
by Virginia McBride
What is the most frequently heard complaint in business? How about, "I don't have enough time?" Do you say it to yourself? Do you say it to other people? Do you take work home? Do you return to work on the weekends? Do you identify the cause of the complaint of not having enough time? After all, we all have the same amount of time in every 24-hour period. Now, let's turn the complaint around. How do you use your time?
ANSWERING THE QUESTION - For starters, look at your calendar for the last week or month. What occupied the bulk of your time? What do you remember of each event? How many meetings did you attend? How many of those meetings were simply up-dates of past work or on-going work? How many phone conversations did you have? What was the purpose of those calls? How many people were involved simultaneously in the calls? How many lunches were on your calendar? What was accomplished during those lunches? Get a sense of what gobbles-up your time, especially what is non-productive.
If you do not maintain a calendar, take any work-day and document how you use your time. To see patterns, divide the day into modules that are small enough for you to identify wasted time. Fifteen minutes is a good working module. Record everything, even the "snack breaks." At the end of the day, ask yourself, "If I were leaving for vacation to Paris on an airplane tomorrow morning, how would I have changed my day?" Do not allow yourself to move "work" to your vacation. Be brutally honest.
WHAT'S MISSING - Chances are good that no time was set aside specifically for thinking. Everything was DOING! However, thinking, especially before doing, accelerates your doing.
For example, suppose someone asked you to move a pile of dirt from Point A to Point B. How would you complete the task? What steps would you go through? Whatever the situation, ask questions for clarification. These are mostly Yes/No questions. Do you care what the pile looks like at Point B? Do you have a preference for how the pile is moved? Must the entire pile be moved to Point B? Is there anything you want us to NOT do? Is there anything you want us to avoid? Clarification, even if detailed to the point of being picky, takes just a couple of minutes. In the end the job is done the way the pile owner wanted it done. Sadly, the rule of the workplace is there is never enough time to do something correctly the first time. Yet, there is always time to fix it later.
PLAN YOUR THINKING TIME - One, establish a thinking module that you can insert regularly into each day. Personally, I find that I can generally protect, without interruption, at least one 15-minute module during each day. No phone calls accepted. No instant messages read. Only thinking about my chosen focus. On good days, I can carve out bigger modules of time for focused thinking.
Two, establish a thinking agenda. Generally, I start with a "frustration" agenda. These may be problems that I am facing or ones for which I have responsibility. These may also be ideas that I want to develop for future programs, services, products, etc. These may also be "wish lists" of things I wish I could get to. These may also be priorities that I must address.
Three, whatever your choice, ask any clarification questions of yourself that come to mind. Write them down. If you do not write them, they have a funny way of flying away on even the most gentle breeze - especially if your 15 minutes expires.
Four, answer all of your clarification questions. Then document what additional questions came to mind that were not specifically for clarification. These most frequently are HOW and WHY questions. Answer the HOW questions first. The answers you get may refocus your thinking on the WHY questions.
Five, with the clarification complete, you are now free to think about who else should be involved in thinking about your choice. When you have them identified, send them a message - convene a meeting, if you must - that you would like them to spend at least 15-minutes a day for the next five days thinking about how to "deal" with the "frustration." Ask each person to write one idea each day and send it to a designated person who will compile all of the suggestions. (If you regularly use project management software, post the compilations there. If you do not have a simple software, check out for their BaseCamp product.) The compiler then forwards the list of ideas to everyone who contributed.
At the end of the week, prepare a total list of the ideas. Ask your idea people to vote for the top three that they believe should be moved forward for additional thinking. File the non-selected items for future thinking adventures.
Six, with much significant thinking completed, take the top three ideas and repeat the process. What additional thinkers should be included? Your original thinkers can offer suggestions. Repeat the process as long as you are getting quality ideas or you are expanding your group of thinkers. At some point, when you feel you are ready to move to decision-making and execution, close the idea session.
MOVING TO THE FUTURE - As you close the endeavor, ask your idea-providers how the process worked for them. Identify participants who would like to be included in future thinking events. Continuing, ask what changes they would make to the process, how they would evaluate their sense of productivity during the thinking event, what items they believe should be the next focus, how should people be chosen to participate in the next thinking event?
Finally, take a quiet moment for yourself to reflect on the thinking process and the thinking event. You were all "DOING the THINKING." Was everyone working? You betcha! Big time! And, the brains of most of the participants returned repeatedly to thinking about their focus throughout the day and week, well beyond the stipulated 15-minute module. Chances are good that everyone felt excited about the thinking and about the possible outcomes of the thinking.
If you lead by showing that you value thinking, others will follow you. By contrast, if you lead by showing that you value doing-without-thinking, people will mirror your behavior. Remember, thinking is exciting. Learning about "collective thinking" as a productivity tool is incredibly valuable and powerful. Now, ask yourself how you can use the "Thinking First" positioning to shorten the "work-week" while increasing productivity throughout your company. Thinking first accelerates your doing, your best doing!
What is the most frequently heard complaint in business? How about, "I don't have enough time?" Do you say it to yourself? Do you say it to other people? Do you take work home? Do you return to work on the weekends? Do you identify the cause of the complaint of not having enough time? After all, we all have the same amount of time in every 24-hour period. Now, let's turn the complaint around. How do you use your time?
ANSWERING THE QUESTION - For starters, look at your calendar for the last week or month. What occupied the bulk of your time? What do you remember of each event? How many meetings did you attend? How many of those meetings were simply up-dates of past work or on-going work? How many phone conversations did you have? What was the purpose of those calls? How many people were involved simultaneously in the calls? How many lunches were on your calendar? What was accomplished during those lunches? Get a sense of what gobbles-up your time, especially what is non-productive.
If you do not maintain a calendar, take any work-day and document how you use your time. To see patterns, divide the day into modules that are small enough for you to identify wasted time. Fifteen minutes is a good working module. Record everything, even the "snack breaks." At the end of the day, ask yourself, "If I were leaving for vacation to Paris on an airplane tomorrow morning, how would I have changed my day?" Do not allow yourself to move "work" to your vacation. Be brutally honest.
WHAT'S MISSING - Chances are good that no time was set aside specifically for thinking. Everything was DOING! However, thinking, especially before doing, accelerates your doing.
For example, suppose someone asked you to move a pile of dirt from Point A to Point B. How would you complete the task? What steps would you go through? Whatever the situation, ask questions for clarification. These are mostly Yes/No questions. Do you care what the pile looks like at Point B? Do you have a preference for how the pile is moved? Must the entire pile be moved to Point B? Is there anything you want us to NOT do? Is there anything you want us to avoid? Clarification, even if detailed to the point of being picky, takes just a couple of minutes. In the end the job is done the way the pile owner wanted it done. Sadly, the rule of the workplace is there is never enough time to do something correctly the first time. Yet, there is always time to fix it later.
PLAN YOUR THINKING TIME - One, establish a thinking module that you can insert regularly into each day. Personally, I find that I can generally protect, without interruption, at least one 15-minute module during each day. No phone calls accepted. No instant messages read. Only thinking about my chosen focus. On good days, I can carve out bigger modules of time for focused thinking.
Two, establish a thinking agenda. Generally, I start with a "frustration" agenda. These may be problems that I am facing or ones for which I have responsibility. These may also be ideas that I want to develop for future programs, services, products, etc. These may also be "wish lists" of things I wish I could get to. These may also be priorities that I must address.
Three, whatever your choice, ask any clarification questions of yourself that come to mind. Write them down. If you do not write them, they have a funny way of flying away on even the most gentle breeze - especially if your 15 minutes expires.
Four, answer all of your clarification questions. Then document what additional questions came to mind that were not specifically for clarification. These most frequently are HOW and WHY questions. Answer the HOW questions first. The answers you get may refocus your thinking on the WHY questions.
Five, with the clarification complete, you are now free to think about who else should be involved in thinking about your choice. When you have them identified, send them a message - convene a meeting, if you must - that you would like them to spend at least 15-minutes a day for the next five days thinking about how to "deal" with the "frustration." Ask each person to write one idea each day and send it to a designated person who will compile all of the suggestions. (If you regularly use project management software, post the compilations there. If you do not have a simple software, check out for their BaseCamp product.) The compiler then forwards the list of ideas to everyone who contributed.
At the end of the week, prepare a total list of the ideas. Ask your idea people to vote for the top three that they believe should be moved forward for additional thinking. File the non-selected items for future thinking adventures.
Six, with much significant thinking completed, take the top three ideas and repeat the process. What additional thinkers should be included? Your original thinkers can offer suggestions. Repeat the process as long as you are getting quality ideas or you are expanding your group of thinkers. At some point, when you feel you are ready to move to decision-making and execution, close the idea session.
MOVING TO THE FUTURE - As you close the endeavor, ask your idea-providers how the process worked for them. Identify participants who would like to be included in future thinking events. Continuing, ask what changes they would make to the process, how they would evaluate their sense of productivity during the thinking event, what items they believe should be the next focus, how should people be chosen to participate in the next thinking event?
Finally, take a quiet moment for yourself to reflect on the thinking process and the thinking event. You were all "DOING the THINKING." Was everyone working? You betcha! Big time! And, the brains of most of the participants returned repeatedly to thinking about their focus throughout the day and week, well beyond the stipulated 15-minute module. Chances are good that everyone felt excited about the thinking and about the possible outcomes of the thinking.
If you lead by showing that you value thinking, others will follow you. By contrast, if you lead by showing that you value doing-without-thinking, people will mirror your behavior. Remember, thinking is exciting. Learning about "collective thinking" as a productivity tool is incredibly valuable and powerful. Now, ask yourself how you can use the "Thinking First" positioning to shorten the "work-week" while increasing productivity throughout your company. Thinking first accelerates your doing, your best doing!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Some Steps for Getting into a State of Flow
by Luc Reid
In a recent comment to my post Flow: What It Feels Like to Be Perfectly Motivated, Kaizan said, “I think the concept of flow as Csikszentmihalyi describes it is fantastic, but I didn’t really follow him as to how I was meant to apply it to my life.” It’s a good point: psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has researched and depicted flow beautifully, but actually finding flow takes some work. Here, based on what I know about flow so far and on my own flow experiences, is a starter “how to” list for getting into flow.
First, not every activity should be done in flow. Flow requires being able to concentrate on one particular task or related group of tasks for a substantial period of time without having to switch gears. This can happen alone or with other people, but if anyone or anything is going to need to pull your attention away from the task–ringing phones, kids needing help with homework, pets needing to be let out–it will tend to disrupt flow. That doesn’t mean a person can’t have a phone, kids, or pets, just that whenever there are potential distractions, getting into flow means making sure as well as you can that distractions are taken care of: the kids have someone else to go to, the dog has already been out, and there are no telephone calls you’ll need to take, for instance.
Flow also requires that you know what you’re doing. It’s a balance between control and challenge: if you’re just barely getting a grip on a new skill, you won’t have the control you need. That doesn’t mean you can’t get into a flow state when learning or practicing, but the ways I know of to do that are either 1) mastering the basics first, or 2) getting into flow about learning, not about the activity itself. For instance, if you’re just starting out with guitar, you could conceivably get into flow in terms of learning chord patterns if you have good learning skills, but you wouldn’t be able to immediately get into flow with actually playing the guitar.
Experiencing flow also means needing to carefully set clear goals that provide a challenge. Even thoroughly washing dishes before a deadline, believe it or not, works as one of these kinds of goals: washing dishes well but quickly is a challenge, and the ticking clock makes your goal clear and also provides another essential element:
Feedback. You need to be able to know how you’re doing as you proceed. This may be as simple as dishes washed, whether or not you’re playing the music as written, or seeing the wall you’re framing fit perfectly into the space allotted for it. This feedback needs to be immediate, something you’re getting in real time. Any activity that can’t provide that in-the-moment feeling of “Wow, this is going great!” probably can’t be done in flow.
That’s it. Surprisingly, the task being doesn’t have to be something you would usually consider fun. You don’t have to be a world-class expert at it, and you don’t necessarily need complete peace and quiet. Flow can be achieved filing papers, making a sales presentation, playing “Fur Elise” on the piano, sketching, vacuuming, teaching, brainstorming, organizing … or anything else that meets the following simple requirements: you are able to focus on it; you have a clear goal; it’s challenging yet within your abilities, you’ve already learned the basics; and you can see how you’re doing as you go.
So not everything can be done in flow–but then, not everything should be: sometimes being more responsive, relaxed, mindful, open, or social is called for instead. But as an element of a healthy lifestyle, flow provides an unmatched opportunity to operate at the our highest level while enjoying every minute.
In future posts, I’ll be following up with some descriptions of my own flow experiences, some information about applying flow to different kinds of activities, and possibly an interview or two about other people’s flow experiences.
In a recent comment to my post Flow: What It Feels Like to Be Perfectly Motivated, Kaizan said, “I think the concept of flow as Csikszentmihalyi describes it is fantastic, but I didn’t really follow him as to how I was meant to apply it to my life.” It’s a good point: psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has researched and depicted flow beautifully, but actually finding flow takes some work. Here, based on what I know about flow so far and on my own flow experiences, is a starter “how to” list for getting into flow.
First, not every activity should be done in flow. Flow requires being able to concentrate on one particular task or related group of tasks for a substantial period of time without having to switch gears. This can happen alone or with other people, but if anyone or anything is going to need to pull your attention away from the task–ringing phones, kids needing help with homework, pets needing to be let out–it will tend to disrupt flow. That doesn’t mean a person can’t have a phone, kids, or pets, just that whenever there are potential distractions, getting into flow means making sure as well as you can that distractions are taken care of: the kids have someone else to go to, the dog has already been out, and there are no telephone calls you’ll need to take, for instance.
Flow also requires that you know what you’re doing. It’s a balance between control and challenge: if you’re just barely getting a grip on a new skill, you won’t have the control you need. That doesn’t mean you can’t get into a flow state when learning or practicing, but the ways I know of to do that are either 1) mastering the basics first, or 2) getting into flow about learning, not about the activity itself. For instance, if you’re just starting out with guitar, you could conceivably get into flow in terms of learning chord patterns if you have good learning skills, but you wouldn’t be able to immediately get into flow with actually playing the guitar.
Experiencing flow also means needing to carefully set clear goals that provide a challenge. Even thoroughly washing dishes before a deadline, believe it or not, works as one of these kinds of goals: washing dishes well but quickly is a challenge, and the ticking clock makes your goal clear and also provides another essential element:
Feedback. You need to be able to know how you’re doing as you proceed. This may be as simple as dishes washed, whether or not you’re playing the music as written, or seeing the wall you’re framing fit perfectly into the space allotted for it. This feedback needs to be immediate, something you’re getting in real time. Any activity that can’t provide that in-the-moment feeling of “Wow, this is going great!” probably can’t be done in flow.
That’s it. Surprisingly, the task being doesn’t have to be something you would usually consider fun. You don’t have to be a world-class expert at it, and you don’t necessarily need complete peace and quiet. Flow can be achieved filing papers, making a sales presentation, playing “Fur Elise” on the piano, sketching, vacuuming, teaching, brainstorming, organizing … or anything else that meets the following simple requirements: you are able to focus on it; you have a clear goal; it’s challenging yet within your abilities, you’ve already learned the basics; and you can see how you’re doing as you go.
So not everything can be done in flow–but then, not everything should be: sometimes being more responsive, relaxed, mindful, open, or social is called for instead. But as an element of a healthy lifestyle, flow provides an unmatched opportunity to operate at the our highest level while enjoying every minute.
In future posts, I’ll be following up with some descriptions of my own flow experiences, some information about applying flow to different kinds of activities, and possibly an interview or two about other people’s flow experiences.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Have Fun Learning Creativity
by: Malkeet Singh
You have some great ideas. You toss them around in your mind. You tell friends about them. They go nowhere. Why? They go nowhere because of what your friends said or because you have the misconception that only a select few are able to unleash a steady flow of creative genius. And, you, of course, couldn't be one of that select group. That is not true at all.
Anyone who has creative genius will tell you that creativity is very much like a muscle that needs to be developed in order to perform at top efficiency. If you don't learn how to develop creative thinking, this skill, like a muscle will become withered and useless to you when you most need it. On the other hand, keep working at it and this skill will soon be ready for action whenever you need it.
So how do you develop your own personal style of creative thinking?
Well, the first thing is to realize your brain has a greater capacity and speed than the world's biggest and fastest super computer. That's right! Even the world's biggest and fastest super computer cannot store as much information or handle it faster than your brain. You are not limited like a super computer because your brain is not limited and that's where creativity comes from - your brain. It doesn't come from thin air, it comes from within you and you already have the tools needed to exercise it.
So, the first thing is to begin absorbing as much information as you can every day. Grab as much knowledge and learning as you can find. Read, watch, and listen to everything available -- good and bad. Don't judge anything at this point of development because it's not the content that is important, only the process of absorption. Keep your mind open to the infinite possibilities that each piece of information presents. The more you know, the more you'll want to know, and the more your brain will be exercised. Prepare to be amazed at little facts that add a bit of color to your conversations with people. They will begin to see you in a new light.
Next, focus on a creative activity every day. This is as simple as doodling. Doodling is a creative activity. Don't let anything hinder you. Just doodle away, mindlessly. You will unleash a little bit of creative thinking and it will be encouraging to see something you created. In addition to doodling, practice drawing something specific for a couple of minutes each day. You might unleash the artist in you.
Or, grab a camera and start snapping photos of anything and everything. Don't try to be "artsy,” just snap away! You might find you have a knack for photography.
Keep a journal and make a point to write in it at the end of each day. Describe your experiences using words that capture your five senses. What did it smell like, taste like, feel like - you get the idea? You may discover a writer lurking in your brain.
In a short time you'll have built yourself a tiny portfolio or doodles, art, photographs and writings and you'll be amazed at the growth of your creativity. You might actually enjoy those exercises so much that they will become a part of you and you'll be addicted to them.
You've heard it said - Think out of the box. Well, not just yet. Be aware of constraints or blocks to your creative process. Constraints are actually a good thing. It's your brain telling you it needs more knowledge about that which you are struggling. Constraints are the brain's mechanisms to force discipline upon you. Discipline forces you to be more resourceful. Creative freedom is great, but limitations are too. There must be balance.
Oscar winner, Anthony Hopkins, would just get in his car and drive across country alone with no destination in particular. It helped him experience different people in different parts of the country, away from the unreality of Hollywood. These little trips helped him to become a better actor.
Try something new every day and let your experiences broaden your view of the world and people around you. Explore a new neighborhood in your town. Spend an afternoon in a museum to which you've never been before. Chat up someone in the checkout line at the store. You need to open up to the people around you. You need to step out of your comfort zone more and more each day. This will heighten your sense of adventure and your zest for life.
Think about it. When was the last time you did something out of your comfort zone? When you stay in your comfort zone, you miss out on a whole lot of experiences that could add to your growth - emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually.
I would love to try bungee jumping and skydiving but I'm a coward when it comes to risking life and limb. If you have the courage, go for it! At the very least, you will have plenty of exciting stories to share, enabling you to develop your storytelling skills, making you the life of any gathering. People will love to hear you tell about doing the things they only dream of doing.
This next thing will seem nutty. It is. You need to embrace insanity. I'm not talking about the kind that will land you in a rubber room. As John Russell once said, "Sanity calms, but madness (insanity) is more interesting."
History shows that nearly every creative thinker was once deemed insane by "normal" people. Lucky for us, the critics couldn't stop the creative geniuses from changing the world. Being "normal" confines’ people to think - normally, that is, to think within limits society has deemed to be normal. Creativity is essentially ignoring those limits, within the Law, of course. Your creativity may seem bizarre and downright strange to the "normals.” Ignore them and seek out others who also ignore the "normals" of this world. They will know how to help you to cultivate your new sense of creativity.
Now, a word of caution as you step out in your search for creativity. Don't strive to develop a creative "personality." There is a difference between a creative personality and creative thinking. Examples of wacky creative personalities would be George Washington, who often rode into battle naked, or James Joyce, who wrote "Dubliners" with beetle juice because he had an intense fear of ink, or Albert Einstein, who thought his cat was a spy sent by his rival. They were all great men, for sure, but a little wacky at times because they lost touch with reality.
It's important that your creativity doesn't blind you to the real world. Keep your feet on the ground and your head in the clouds! (Look familiar?)
Starting today, begin thinking beyond your "limits." Follow these steps and you'll soon be living a life full of interesting and exciting adventures. Your new level creative thinking will bring about a new zest for living life.
You have some great ideas. You toss them around in your mind. You tell friends about them. They go nowhere. Why? They go nowhere because of what your friends said or because you have the misconception that only a select few are able to unleash a steady flow of creative genius. And, you, of course, couldn't be one of that select group. That is not true at all.
Anyone who has creative genius will tell you that creativity is very much like a muscle that needs to be developed in order to perform at top efficiency. If you don't learn how to develop creative thinking, this skill, like a muscle will become withered and useless to you when you most need it. On the other hand, keep working at it and this skill will soon be ready for action whenever you need it.
So how do you develop your own personal style of creative thinking?
Well, the first thing is to realize your brain has a greater capacity and speed than the world's biggest and fastest super computer. That's right! Even the world's biggest and fastest super computer cannot store as much information or handle it faster than your brain. You are not limited like a super computer because your brain is not limited and that's where creativity comes from - your brain. It doesn't come from thin air, it comes from within you and you already have the tools needed to exercise it.
So, the first thing is to begin absorbing as much information as you can every day. Grab as much knowledge and learning as you can find. Read, watch, and listen to everything available -- good and bad. Don't judge anything at this point of development because it's not the content that is important, only the process of absorption. Keep your mind open to the infinite possibilities that each piece of information presents. The more you know, the more you'll want to know, and the more your brain will be exercised. Prepare to be amazed at little facts that add a bit of color to your conversations with people. They will begin to see you in a new light.
Next, focus on a creative activity every day. This is as simple as doodling. Doodling is a creative activity. Don't let anything hinder you. Just doodle away, mindlessly. You will unleash a little bit of creative thinking and it will be encouraging to see something you created. In addition to doodling, practice drawing something specific for a couple of minutes each day. You might unleash the artist in you.
Or, grab a camera and start snapping photos of anything and everything. Don't try to be "artsy,” just snap away! You might find you have a knack for photography.
Keep a journal and make a point to write in it at the end of each day. Describe your experiences using words that capture your five senses. What did it smell like, taste like, feel like - you get the idea? You may discover a writer lurking in your brain.
In a short time you'll have built yourself a tiny portfolio or doodles, art, photographs and writings and you'll be amazed at the growth of your creativity. You might actually enjoy those exercises so much that they will become a part of you and you'll be addicted to them.
You've heard it said - Think out of the box. Well, not just yet. Be aware of constraints or blocks to your creative process. Constraints are actually a good thing. It's your brain telling you it needs more knowledge about that which you are struggling. Constraints are the brain's mechanisms to force discipline upon you. Discipline forces you to be more resourceful. Creative freedom is great, but limitations are too. There must be balance.
Oscar winner, Anthony Hopkins, would just get in his car and drive across country alone with no destination in particular. It helped him experience different people in different parts of the country, away from the unreality of Hollywood. These little trips helped him to become a better actor.
Try something new every day and let your experiences broaden your view of the world and people around you. Explore a new neighborhood in your town. Spend an afternoon in a museum to which you've never been before. Chat up someone in the checkout line at the store. You need to open up to the people around you. You need to step out of your comfort zone more and more each day. This will heighten your sense of adventure and your zest for life.
Think about it. When was the last time you did something out of your comfort zone? When you stay in your comfort zone, you miss out on a whole lot of experiences that could add to your growth - emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually.
I would love to try bungee jumping and skydiving but I'm a coward when it comes to risking life and limb. If you have the courage, go for it! At the very least, you will have plenty of exciting stories to share, enabling you to develop your storytelling skills, making you the life of any gathering. People will love to hear you tell about doing the things they only dream of doing.
This next thing will seem nutty. It is. You need to embrace insanity. I'm not talking about the kind that will land you in a rubber room. As John Russell once said, "Sanity calms, but madness (insanity) is more interesting."
History shows that nearly every creative thinker was once deemed insane by "normal" people. Lucky for us, the critics couldn't stop the creative geniuses from changing the world. Being "normal" confines’ people to think - normally, that is, to think within limits society has deemed to be normal. Creativity is essentially ignoring those limits, within the Law, of course. Your creativity may seem bizarre and downright strange to the "normals.” Ignore them and seek out others who also ignore the "normals" of this world. They will know how to help you to cultivate your new sense of creativity.
Now, a word of caution as you step out in your search for creativity. Don't strive to develop a creative "personality." There is a difference between a creative personality and creative thinking. Examples of wacky creative personalities would be George Washington, who often rode into battle naked, or James Joyce, who wrote "Dubliners" with beetle juice because he had an intense fear of ink, or Albert Einstein, who thought his cat was a spy sent by his rival. They were all great men, for sure, but a little wacky at times because they lost touch with reality.
It's important that your creativity doesn't blind you to the real world. Keep your feet on the ground and your head in the clouds! (Look familiar?)
Starting today, begin thinking beyond your "limits." Follow these steps and you'll soon be living a life full of interesting and exciting adventures. Your new level creative thinking will bring about a new zest for living life.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Don’t Be A Victim Of Insecurity
by Amy Twain
Because of insecurity, thousands of individuals often wallow in depression. In this state of insecurity, you might find it difficult to concentrate or focus on or allow yourself to enjoy feelings of achievement as emotions of self-judgment then emerge. Negative sentiments such as “why push ahead if I never get anywhere, anyway?” shows low self esteem and lack of self confidence. Talking to yourself in a hard way brings forth unhealthy and defeating attitude. When you begin to ignore the positive or optimistic feelings linked with achievement, it is so easy to sway back into negative self-talk and damage your success.
When you punish or chastise yourself by focusing on past failures rather than past accomplishments, it keeps you in the gloom of nothingness and uncertainty where there is no opportunity for aiming high. Why harshly criticize yourself or anyone else? Insecurity is a very self-destructive behavior. Criticizing yourself severely weakens your achievements and your growth at the same time. Belittling or undermining the triumphs of other people creates invisible barriers to warm rapport and relations, making it tough to accept situations which foster opportunities and positive growth. It is very unnecessary and self sabotaging to blame and judge yourself just because you weren’t able to influence other people’s feelings and thoughts.
When you’re too busy in attempting to control external factors, then you might not be in command of yourself. Lack of confidence and feelings of insecurity could compel you to attempt to control external events, including others. For instance, attempting to manipulate the way a person feels about you could be so overwhelming, not to mention frustrating. Of course, you cannot command or influence other peoples feelings, but you could always be in control of the way you react or respond toward them. When your sense of security and confidence are inadequate, you may inflict a retreat on yourself to avoid taking risks or challenges.
When a very successful or triumphant event does happen, you might conclude that it’s just sheer luck. Beliefs and self-talk like “In spite of my efforts, there’s still no effect on the outcome,” might stem from past programmed concepts and ideas which you received from disparaging other individuals. Endeavoring to impact everyone or everything around you, instead of handling your own behavior and emotions, weakens your consciousness and self growth. It reinforces more insecurity on your part. The point there is trying not to focus too hard on stopping others on their road to success, but instead to focus on your own achievements and personal growth.
Concentrate on enhancing your strengths to be more optimistic and delighted. Work on appreciating and recognizing your talents and competencies (kindness, endurance, candidness, positivity) that are always there within you. When you motivate and empower your body and mind to build your skills and resources, you strengthen and solidify your commitment to aspire higher. Anti-insecurity Advice 1: Each day when you wake up, ask yourself “What good things I could do today?” Do the same everyday. Anti-insecurity Advice 2: Always be thankful for what you have.
Because of insecurity, thousands of individuals often wallow in depression. In this state of insecurity, you might find it difficult to concentrate or focus on or allow yourself to enjoy feelings of achievement as emotions of self-judgment then emerge. Negative sentiments such as “why push ahead if I never get anywhere, anyway?” shows low self esteem and lack of self confidence. Talking to yourself in a hard way brings forth unhealthy and defeating attitude. When you begin to ignore the positive or optimistic feelings linked with achievement, it is so easy to sway back into negative self-talk and damage your success.
When you punish or chastise yourself by focusing on past failures rather than past accomplishments, it keeps you in the gloom of nothingness and uncertainty where there is no opportunity for aiming high. Why harshly criticize yourself or anyone else? Insecurity is a very self-destructive behavior. Criticizing yourself severely weakens your achievements and your growth at the same time. Belittling or undermining the triumphs of other people creates invisible barriers to warm rapport and relations, making it tough to accept situations which foster opportunities and positive growth. It is very unnecessary and self sabotaging to blame and judge yourself just because you weren’t able to influence other people’s feelings and thoughts.
When you’re too busy in attempting to control external factors, then you might not be in command of yourself. Lack of confidence and feelings of insecurity could compel you to attempt to control external events, including others. For instance, attempting to manipulate the way a person feels about you could be so overwhelming, not to mention frustrating. Of course, you cannot command or influence other peoples feelings, but you could always be in control of the way you react or respond toward them. When your sense of security and confidence are inadequate, you may inflict a retreat on yourself to avoid taking risks or challenges.
When a very successful or triumphant event does happen, you might conclude that it’s just sheer luck. Beliefs and self-talk like “In spite of my efforts, there’s still no effect on the outcome,” might stem from past programmed concepts and ideas which you received from disparaging other individuals. Endeavoring to impact everyone or everything around you, instead of handling your own behavior and emotions, weakens your consciousness and self growth. It reinforces more insecurity on your part. The point there is trying not to focus too hard on stopping others on their road to success, but instead to focus on your own achievements and personal growth.
Concentrate on enhancing your strengths to be more optimistic and delighted. Work on appreciating and recognizing your talents and competencies (kindness, endurance, candidness, positivity) that are always there within you. When you motivate and empower your body and mind to build your skills and resources, you strengthen and solidify your commitment to aspire higher. Anti-insecurity Advice 1: Each day when you wake up, ask yourself “What good things I could do today?” Do the same everyday. Anti-insecurity Advice 2: Always be thankful for what you have.
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